An Impractical Heart
The Wizard of Oz said it best to the Tin Man, “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.” How true this statement is. It often hurts to have a working, loving heart. They can provide much joy and hope and happiness and love, but also bring inevitable pain. Hearts can ache, break, shatter, and hurt. For me, I used addiction to prevent this fate. It was my shield. The dark presence in my life built a wall around my heart. It froze it, making it appear like it no longer existed. It was a protection. It kept people out of my life, made people keep a distance from me. I didn’t want people to get too close and the addiction made sure that happened. I have faced a great deal of heartbreak in the past few months and lately on a daily basis. I could choose to use that as an excuse to not take care of myself, trying to numb the ache and the pain of my hurting heart through behaviors, but instead I choose to feel it, talk about it, and heal it. And I also choose to focus on the good this heart is doing because my heart has seen a huge amount of love lately too. The heart is a beautifully impractical thing but it serves as our reminder that we are made to love and receive love.