Believing is Seeing

Perhaps in life we do not need to see something happen to believe that it is possible. Maybe we need to believe in it in order to see it and the rest will happen as it should. In my recovery, I learned to believe in order to see. It was one way to help me endure and even free me from the disorder. I had to believe in the process and the gains of recovery to see them happen. I learned to believe in the redemptive power in the disorder. I realized that because of the battle, I was being directed towards a grander, more fulfilling life had the anorexia never came into my life. Believing in that, in the hope of what was to come because of what I had pushed myself to do and to have fought, allowed me to see the beautiful future that awaited me. My current circumstances at times may have felt paradoxical to a life of riches and happiness but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible tomorrow or the next day. And who is to say that even if I had been given my version of the fairy tale, without the character training that life with anorexia signed me up for, that my fairy tale still would have had a bad ending? Nothing is certain in life. Nothing is predictable. So we must learn to take what we have been given and make the most of it and turn our belief into reality, into something that can be seen.

J.L.

Jenna LairdComment