Drop the Excuses

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

It is easy to get caught up in excuses, to validate why we are not pursuing dreams or going after what we say we want. In recovery, I thought up every excuse in the book to delay the inevitable. With the OCD tagging along, it made it even more complicated. I couldn’t add to my intake until there was an even amount of food left. If I didn’t eat by this time, I couldn’t make a change that day. When it came to going after the things I said I “wanted”, I was always coming up with a new reason to not do it to stay in my comfort zone. When deep in the disorder, I was always giving it excuses to keep it around. “I need it. I don’t know who I am without it. It helps me cope. It is my escape.” Yes, it was all those things but by defending it like I was, I was giving it every reason to stay, to not let it go, validating its presence in my life. I had to ask myself, “Do I REALLY want to recover?” If so, if I wanted to FULLY recover, I had to drop the excuses. I had to be honest with myself with how I was doing in my journey. If I was not being truthful with how I was doing, I had to stop the lies. I had to stop defending the disordered thoughts and making them continue to survive. I had to be stronger than my excuses. I had two options; make progress or make excuses. The last option failed me miserably so I had to give the first a try. Holding myself accountable to my actions and exposing the disorder is what lead to me changing. Excuses will always be there for you. Opportunity will not.

J.L.

Jenna LairdComment