It Is Already Yours
I know you are tired. Worn. Defeated. Weak. I know you feel like the battle has been lost. There seems to be no end in sight. I know you feel like you have no control.
But you do.
That powerlessness seeping into you is the result of the lies you have fed yourself, the product of a nonexistent self worth. That lack of control you feel stems from you stripping your strength away from yourself with words of defeat and failure and inadequacy. You hold within you the power to rise above and go against the disorder.
Recovery is yours.
Tragedy can strike your life. People can come and go. Hearts can break. Loss can be experienced. Life is not going to stop for us to completely heal. It is going to keep going and test our strength. It is going to keep throwing obstacles on a path you have just spent a great deal of energy attempting to smooth out.
But the one constant will always be whatever happens to your recovery is your responsibility. You decide how you handle the situations. There is no clause in the contract of life saying you must return to what destroys you to cope with pain. You did not sign anything binding you to the disorder in times of crisis. You are not trapped in the disorder. No matter how tight a grip it feels like it has on you, you have something it does not; breath in your lungs.
You are human. No matter how you choose to treat the disorder, it is NOT nor ever will be a person. You go into recovery already with a leg up. As a living being you are given beautiful things to help you survive regardless of what is before you. You are blessed with choices, hope, faith, and light. An illness can never possess what it takes to win unless you sacrifice your gifts.
Decide to keep them.
You have a faith and hope that gives you the opportunity to dream of what is beyond the pain, to see what is possible in health, to decide to listen to your heart. You have been given the gift of an infinite strength whether you acknowledge it or not to overcome. You have within you an inextinguishable light to defeat any darkness. You have the chance every second to make a decision for you, and if you make a poor one, you get a second opportunity to try again. You take those things into recovery, and you use them to be victorious.
The war is already written to be won by you.