Open Up Let the Light In

Keep your face towards the sun and shadows will fall behind you.
— Walt Whitman

I felt the sun on my skin today.

It has been a long time.

Not because of a lack of sunny days but because of a lack of hope. A lack of confidence prohibiting me from allowing the warmth of the rays to fall on my face.

In times of struggle I close myself off. I shut the doors. I close the blinds. I cover every inch of my body. I conceal my heart.

Today I let the light in.

And it is not because the battle is over. In truth the enemy has built a greater army to fight against me. The war is still raging and I am still tiredly but valiantly fighting.

I let the light in today because I woke up craving to feel alive.

Overnight my appetite for life seemed to have grown. I arose to a grumbling stomach begging to be filled. A stomach wanting to be satisfied with more than just a morsel of the life I taste in my dreams.

I opened my eyes yearning to have fresh air fill my lungs. To see colors so bright they are blinding. To experience firsts. To take risks with the knowledge I could fall but the great expectation I will fly. To fiercely love and be loved. To run wildly towards the things I fear the most, towards adventure, towards an open heart. To explore unclaimed lands and make them home.

So for the first time in countless years I honored my desire to feel full. I cracked the shutters of my heart this morning, stepped outside, and let the sun in. I let it begin to take over. I let the dark meet its opponent.

And I have a good feeling it will soon learn the definition of defeat.

J.L.

Jenna LairdComment