Prove Yourself Right

I used to live to prove others wrong. To all the people who told me I would never recover, I vowed to prove them wrong. To all the people who told me I would spend my life in a hospital, I was determined to prove them wrong. But there was a huge problem in doing this. I was acting out of anger. I was acting out of bitterness. With each proving wrong, I found I was holding on to unforgiveness for the words spoken to me. The attempts never worked because the root cause of why I was engaging in behaviors was still there and only increasing as I pushed to do things in spite of people. The emotions that I tried to numb with the eating disorder were arising every time I thought about those words, those doubters, and I ended up acting instinctively on them in an unhealthy way. I had to change my mind set. I had to act for ME. The last time I left treatment, I knew that if I wanted to make this time different, my approach could not be the same as the other countless. I left deciding to live to prove myself right. That one word change made all the difference. I was now fighting for my heart, not fighting against anyone. To prove myself right meant to let go of anger and resentment and find inner peace. It meant believing in myself and what I knew I could become. It was about agreeing with my potential and refuting any doubts of what may have seemed impossible. There was more hope, more love, more of me wanting to commit when I switched to living for me. I encourage you to do the same. Prove yourself right today.

J.L.

Jenna LairdComment